July 4th, 2010
Three months have passed since I was last in El Salvador. I never finished my journey in El Salvador on here, because that journey is NOT over- I doubt it ever will be. As i was posting up my pictures on facebook, i realized that I had taken so long to post them because i wanted to hold onto them as much as i could. Holding onto the El Salvador i experienced 3 months ago, meant being safe, gaurded, and afraid of expressing my love.
A lot has happened in my life since I was there. I went to Bolivia 3 weeks after returning home and I put myself "back into the World". Allowing myself to be vulnerable, to be open, to be alive. Ready to love...being ready to love? what does that actually mean? i realized at a young age that the only reason i would ever be able to love is if i was awakened to God's love. If i could live through His love, understand, live in and carry His love then and only then would i be ready to love. I mean, im still trying to understand His love, there is a lot i dont understand, alot that im seeking out, but there is so much grace in all of this understanding. I have no desire to live without His love, and so all i want is to live in it and share it with all corners of this world.
When i was in El Salvador i had a dream that shifted my thinking on what my purpose looked like. I was left with a very puzzling Word "Bound by Justice", basically it was about me sharing Love, sharing Justice, sharing peace- with all different types of people- I was sharing this with the help of a whole 'army' of people that i know and inspire me. (ask me about the dream i'll be happy to share it). This word has made me think about what it really means to be, first; ready to love, and then second; be bound by Justice because of that love. Many people including my family at times have questioned the reasons why i go on these 'development' trips, or why i beleive certain things. I can explain it to you in one simple sentence. In the Justice of the resurrection Jesus poured out His love for all by giving His life for our Freedom-I am bound by that, bound by His love, by His blood- by His Justice!
That is really why i seek Justice for the places and people i meet. I want love for them, i simply just want them to feel loved, living in just societies where they are treated as they deserve to be. If i were to turn a blind eye to this, I would be no less miserable then the people that hurt them.
Mercy has reached out to save me, and Im bound by that, i cant contain that call on my life. I receive it with love and joy :)
El Salvador is always awaiting the return of it's children, i had to go back. Knowing and recognizing where Home is for me, is what allows me to stand firm in what waits for me.
Some updates I'd like to share with all of you:
While being in Bolivia i was voted the President of a new NGO called the Hispanic Fraternity Association - an organization based on solidarity and the promotion of the Hispanic culture through our arts, our freedom seeking ways and most importantly the faith that runs deep within our people's calling. Please pray for us as we embark on this journey!
Second it seems like i will be going to Africa in September- plans are still up in the air, we will see what God says :-)
Be light! Be Love!
