It feels as if January has been here for months and months. I started my placement just a few weeks ago, i went in with many thoughts, prejudices, self created walls and barriers.
Something in me kept saying "wait"
many friends encouraged me, saying they believed this placement would be good for me, that something wonderful would come out of it.
But I already had a wall building, a wall of fear, of confusion, one that didn't reflect who Jesus calls me to be.
Be love
Love more
Love until it hurts, love until love is the only thing that is left
starting to build relationships with these kids, putting a name to statistics and stereotypes, i was forced to become uncomfortable, out of my zone, and into the breeding ground of Hope.
So much need, so much darkness, so much hatred, so much anger. An angst built up by barriers and broken dreams, of let down children. Of the so many places and faces I've met in the last 5 years, i had not felt so hopeless then when i entered that school. We had forgotten that this was the chosen future we were deciding for children that didn't have a say.
But it was until i heard them sing, i heard their dreams, their aspirations, and a little help from Mumford and Sons. "but i was told by Jesus all is well".
There is a future beyond expectations and numbers, another world is possible for them and it doesn't have to belong in a Utopia. Sometimes i might come across as preachy and overally idealistic, but it is the only way i know how to breathe. My family left hopelessness behind, in a war that stripped them of their freedom, forced to make way in a place that was not home. Yet they have always hoped for a better El Salvador, one without violence, without empty bellies, with homes and freedom. So for me this will be my 'little' El Salvador for now.
We should all have "little' El Salvador's, places that bloom because of encouragement, kindness and compassion. These kids are the future, why have we given up, before their tomorrow has arrived?
I have a lot to learn, in the upcoming months, i have a lot to give in the everyday exchange and i have a lot to receive, for this heart that keeps afloat for the so called hopeless
Let me learn from where I have been
Keep my eyes to serve
My hands to learn
