In no moment like this have I felt the need to be closer to the Father, chasing life in death I have chosen life time and time again, because He chose me.
He chose me.
I have lived this whole past year, involved in many amazing things, life changing things that have brought me to discover more and more who I am. But in this discovery I have found a broken girl, I wander in this place drenched in Hope, unable to truly give of myself to the purpose He created me for. All i know is that He chose me, as He hung on the cross, He still chose me and because of this i want to learn more and more to love like He does, to transform like He does, to rejoice like He does and to glorify the Father like He does.
As a child I used to pray to feel Jesus' heart, and these past few years I have seen glimpses of what that feels like, but in these last few months working with the greater community, I leave every appointment broken, broken down to the injustices of this world, broken for loneliness, broken for sickness, broken for thinking I cannot change the world
But i see heaven invade these spaces everyday, God's presence gives me strength to encourage, and to love strangers that come in to my office everyday. My desire to change the world comes from the heart God has placed in me, these dreams of justice, peace, unity and love coincide with His, I will not be blind to our brokenness because even in all of this muck, Jesus is glorified by our choice for Life.
To the refugee that comes in to my office- let Heaven come.
To the cancer patient that comes in to my office- let Heaven come.
To the lonely that comes in to my office- let Heaven come
and to the broken- let Heaven come.
I revel in the notion that Love is what will break the injustices of this world, and that God has chosen us to participate with Him. To love, and to love until it hurts.
I experienced two weeks ago, what I had experienced in many of my trips, that loving until it hurt is what keeps me alive, interviewing this older man, i realized that the hardship of immigration carries on for years, that loneliness and separation of true community has left people behind. As i wept for him, i knew i wept for all of my people. Many from Latin America are experiencing what this man is experiencing, the feeling of loneliness would not escape my heart, his sun drenched face, his scolded hands- everything didn't escape me, and my only reasoning is that this is because i have been called to make a difference, and because i need to live up to that purpose. Jesus, you have trusted me with so much, make me whole so that I may be who you see me to be.
I learn to love in different ways everyday, and recently with the Ecumenical Refugee Support Committee, i learn to love this government that continues to disappoint me each and everyday, I will love them, because it is through different acts of love, that they will be transformed.
We are not a Church of broken people, we are people that have chosen to stay broken, our brothers and sisters need us to stand and be who we are, so that we may stand with them.
You cannot discover who you are by yourself.
It has to be in the context of serving people."
-Bill Johnson
