yet my heart takes on wounds of history.

Hello again, its been a couple of months :-)
I've been feeling the need to share once again for a few days now, the truth is, i havent really felt the need to be infront of a computer in my hot room, as a i sneeze 5 million times a day haha oh allergies! Alas here i am :-)
I was listening to this beautiful song today- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSwov6Zp1hY
it made me want to share some encouragement and truth with you all.
So here goes...:-)

There is something about summer that just makes me think more haha, i mean not the looking into the sky without any reason for day dreaming- but day dreaming on purpose with a pen in my hand and some lemonade, know what i mean? :) haha
in doing this i realized that as i sit here with my lemonade, beautiful leather bound journal, waiting for Mr golden sun to shine on me, im very unhappy.

Unhappy not in the sense that i hate my life, or need riches to feel great, but unhappy for living so comfortablly. For some people this might not make sense, because who really wants to live in war torn countries, with poverty stricken communities? Even though i agree with that last sentiment there is something in my heart that longs for living with people in those predicaments. My family fled El Salvador in the early 1980's running away from war and seeking freedom. I Have been given everything on a golden platter, yet my heart takes on wounds of history. Crumbling to ruins like heartache, wanting to do whatever i can to be part of the change that will overcome injustice.

Let me explain though, in this unhappiness i can also find Joy and peace in my life, i have a very loving family and amazing friends and the Hope that lies in my relationship with God. I've asked God many times to be able to feel His heartache for people, but i dont think i've ever prepared myself for it. It feels unfair, hollow, helpless. As a i shared with a good friend what i was feeling he said to me " If you are brave enough to go on that journey, and you are prepared to face the challenges you are going to face, the truth will not be hidden from you"

We cant change the world alone, we cant change a community alone, we cant even change oursleves alone. God has left us with such beautful family to work with, it is impossible for us to fail if we are faithful to that.

I refuse to stop dreaming, to stop believing, i want to be face to face with Love because it's the only way for me to know that Light will never cease shinning on.
We need to embody that Light, let is shine, let it shine, let shine! and NEVER stop dreaming, because we have yet to dream those humanly impossible dreams that God has for us to complete. They will come true!:-) YES, they will!!!

In the midst of some chaos in my life, i know he is Faithful. A couple of weeks ago Africa was taken off my radar, so to say that God didnt think it was time yet, and that's okay! Some day soon though, i'll go back! Another beautiful day will grace me :-)

Sharing my feelings here sometimes leaves me to think that maybe we should all just grab some coffee and speak life. But for those of you who live miles away in the depths of the Amazon or in the mountains in Bolivia, it was nice to chat ;)
but for you other's lets do coffee I'd love to speak life soon! hehe

love to all!