Love decides everything – Pedro Arrupe, SJ

Picture taken at this year's annual School of the America's watch.




Walking down the street in downtown Hamilton yesterday, i saw these string of art pieces on the street,one of them caught my eye and pursued my heart, this is what what was written on it:


Emergence
Wrapping your present self in old beliefs keeps your feet on the ground
if that's where you want to be.
time to shake the hand-me-down habits, those gentle, mindful muzzlings and set yourself free.
What she came to understand is she had already arrived and believing was all she had to do.
A cocoon is the thought behind the moment the butterfly takes flight.

All what my soul longs for, wrapped up in a few words- freedom ,flight,wanting the Wind to take me.

This month has been interesting for me, as the past few posts I've been going through a season of stretching, leaping, not fearing, trusting, and being bold.

Echoing in me since my trip to El Salvador;
Bound by Justice
Bound by Justice
Bound by Justice

Social Justice is not a sexy movement for me, it not a fad, or a past time- my heart burns for those that are desolate. Passion stirs in me for change, i have little tolerance for indifference and patience is taking its toll.
I have to keep at it, my heart keeps telling me- "Seeking justice is always a risk, but it's a worthy risk."
I want to encourage you all, I know that sometimes it feels like the flame is burning out and no one cares, but what is inside of us is not just an awakening- it is Life. Life breathing truth in us, truth being born into the masses, being born into the Kingdom. Don't just be a torch bearer or a vessel, be the burning flame, be change.

I've recently had a re-focusing of life, a re constructing of vision, into pure, plain, understanding that, Love decides everything,I may have dreams and aspirations,i might drag myself into the world everyday, but if i don't allow the Spirit to take hold of my life like the Wind takes hold of the sails. I will continue walking, lost and confused.

I've recently been invited to partake in a trip to Chile with an amazing organization, its a two week trip, it will be filled with meetings with dignitaries, Church people, activists and the like; I'm excited to see what God will do with this opportunity. I've turned over the sails to the Wind... :-)

Much of this refocusing has to do with me understanding that everything I do or say may be seen as crazy, unbalanced- overly hopeful and naive. I sometimes laugh at that because much of my rebellion just comes from questioning the norm, as i delve more and more into the life of Jesus, I know that's what He calls us to be. Little sparkling fireflies into dark places, path ways in unmarked lands- What would i be? what would i be if I wouldn't let Love decide?

I've seriously been encouraged and quiet humbled by the testimony of the School of The America's Watch. This organization has been fighting against injustice since the early 1980's, bringing awareness to the atrocities happening in Latin America while shedding light on how to make this stop.

A few nights ago, i was able to read, watch and listen to a string of links on what they do and I was left with an unsettled heavy heart. My heart was heavy, deeply rooted in the purpose of this organization, was surrendering one's life for Justice. It's a hard thought to grasp, its an even harder life to live- I am far from perfect and have to continue fighting everyday, but I know I'm not in this alone- this generation is finding it's place, living within the poor, crossing borders to free prisoners and entering into civil disobedience to be obedient to the Word. I have found my place within the body- and we need to keep moving!



I'm really inspired by the many organizations and beautiful people that surround me these days. This, is what I have my heart set on right now, (if you have the time, watch it)

Love to all!

Ivania

"Peace is first of all the art of being." — Henri J.M. Nouwen

Picture taken on my trip to the Amazon, in Venezuela 2009->

Life has become full of wondering, wandering, feeling lost, loneliness and all of that kind of stuff that doesnt come from Him, it's been that type of season... one where i can feel happiness at the tip of my fingers.

It's seems i've missed the point here and there- but im learning everyday to trust.- to keep Hope and just be. 'Fighting for peace!' has been the constant 'advice' from a close friend, and the more I try to take that in, the more i understand that true peace will only come from loving without surrender.

About a week ago i received two different directions- two countries calling to me- usually i would of left without thinking, allow my wings to open up and just soar, that's what my spirit would desire!

El Salvador and Rwanda were put on my radar- one with an organization called Innerchange and another teaching in the heart of Africa. Both beautiful possibilities, that really were starting to make me question what i was 'doing' here.

Its seems like this season, has been full of learning how to say no, when the Spirit says no.True communion with Papa, is hard, makes you vulnerable and feels like you are getting stretched north to south- but its beautiful on this side! Freedom!
Even talking about this is a little hard on the heart, dont get me wrong its an amazing journey and I am so thankful, but my humanity tends to get in the way sometimes hehe.

I am loved far beyond the boundaries of this world, and that is the type of love I was made to share.
I met up with two beautiful women of God today, one new friend and the other someone i've known all my life. Equally inspiring. living their lives by being love - i was so encouraged to be surrounded by such wonderful people. Sharing our experiences about Bolivia and El Salvador, made me glow all day jaja- not to mention the sun was really intense today, just the way i was feeling inside :) Thinking about all the beautiful people i've met on my past trips really leaves me humbled. The children have taught an endless piece of wisdom- 'let joy guide you, walk in it's innocence and just love'.

Just finished reading some of Henri Nouwen's writings...and this quote could not reflect more what i've BEEN feeling (past now ;) God is so merciful- im SO thankful so so thankful for you and you!

Keep walking in Light!

"The great spiritual task facing me is to so fully trust that I belong to God that I can be free in the world--free to speak even when my words are not received; free to act even when my actions are criticized, ridiculed, or considered useless.... I am convinced that I will truly be able to love the world when I fully believe that I am loved far beyond its boundaries."
— Henri J.M. Nouwen

~My heart is like a loudspeaker

Everyday I fight for
All my future somethings
A thousand little awards
I have to choose between
I could spend a lifetime
Earning things I don’t need
That’s like chasing rainbows
And coming home empty.

I dont need a microphone
To say what I been thinking
My heart is like a loudspeaker
Strip me

I've had this song on repeat all day, it fills me with joy :)

The truth is, the last couple days have been filled with complaining, planning the future and hoping that tomorrow will be better- Seriously! what the heck! i need a reality check! Today is wonderful, i have air in my lungs, a voice to reach many -'my heart is like a loudspeaker'.

23 yearsold and unsatisfied with the everyday, day dreaming of my amazon, Bolivian mountains, Venezuelan communities, Tanzanian deserts and the endless El Salvadorian sunsets.

but there is joy in all of this.

to be honest, i never really pictured myself still in Hamilton, very much decided but confused all at the same time. I have answers and a map laid out in front of me- God constantly taking me by the hand and saying 'Just Go"

but there is joy in all of this.

i would much rather be in the middle of no where in the Amazon right now, but i am here, here in Hamilton, here in Canada, in my familiarity, in my comfort zone- but why is it a constant struggle to feel home here?

but there is joy in all of this.

I had all these questions spinning in my head at work today, it was crazy busy and i really had no energy to spark conversation or intentionally build any sort of connection with the customers, until this really joyfull woman came with her baby boy. She sat him down on the counter and he would smile and giggle at me. I could have been anywhere, but at that moment this little boy's joyful spirit captivated me and totally changed my day. A simple example of God's joy, i felt compelled to ask the mother his name, to which she replied ' Jahsanti, it means sent by God' I could feel my spirit bursting, and leaping out of this crazy rut i had chosen to stay in. so thankful for that moment. thankful for being in Hamilton :)

I have a fleeting spirit, one that constantly wants to run, but Papa just wants to walk with me at the moment and i feel like maybe sharing that little struggle i have with myself will encourage others that feel the same. There is so much to do, so much love to give, so much change to bring forth and so much peace to deliver. But we cannot give, bring, or deliver anything that we personally do not have in our hearts. Im learning to find joy in the everyday, happiness to know that right at this moment im interconnected with every continent in this world. I realized that my closest friends are all in other places right now, in Europe, in Asia, in Africa and out west- to a certain extent the melancholy behind missing them is unhealthy because i want to be happy for them and share in their joy- but at the same time i would want them all with me at the same time haha
not for now- but its okay it just means we have more undiscovered adventures ahead of us, more trails to walk and songs to sing- always free falling!

JOY!

miss and love you all!
<3