Traigo un pueblo en mi voz/ I carry a people in my voice

Yesterday in the midst of studying for exams, i was hit with inspiration. Sparked by a connection that I made with a group of Roma people in Hamilton on Saturday. Lunik 9 was the subject of the event, the largest refugee slum in Europe, more then 500 Roma people living in unbearable conditions. It was Culture Conversations 3rd event, but this time while Carlos took pictures, i felt a deep connection with the family we were taking pictures of , their heavy hearts transmitted something into my heart, it reminded me of El Salvador. This piece came out of my heart, almost perusing me to uncover, my heart of hearts, to top it all off i realized that today is the anniversary of The Massacre of El Mozote, one of the most devastating crimes of the El Salvadorean civil war. The way this piece relates so directly to what happened in El Mozote and continues to happen around the world amazes me, the Spirit continues to make me long for Justice and this is proof of it.




at the sound of a wooden flute
I am on the deserted path
i keep stretching through the highest of trees
needing the Sunlight
from the loneliness of the forgotten echoes of yesterday
my heart beats, thump thump thump
joy unravels the veins and particles of what im holding so close
i have been summoned to give in, to disarm
my Creator, whispers more Wind then roots into me, swaying from the east to the west
the sunset kisses me as we embrace
the sun drenched land, crackling through my feet
searching for anything that looks familiar, a pot, a spoon, a necklace, a vase
all i see are broken pieces
where have my people gone?

silence
silence

i keep stepping over my words, i don't remember what they sound like
na hu a? nahua?
a language that we gave the land of the Savior
El Salvador do you remember?

silence
silence

the essence of peace has left my land
as the birds no longer sing, and the waters are stilled
Creator, i hold my arms outstretched, will you tell me where to fly next?
I carry a people in my Voice
I hold a memory that was stolen
I carry a people in my Voice
i see those that were born from my people suffer
the land is infertile, Mother groans for there is no fruit, the people are unable to cultivate, the tyrant has stolen from them
the children are naked, the grandmothers are left behind
and the fathers and sons have been disappeared and killed

I carry a people in my Voice
a language that we gave to the land of the Savior
El Salvador do you remember?

The Wind whispers the Creators desire to me

I have given you the ocean, swoon it with your sharp gaze
I have given you the Harvest, it is sprouting out of your hands
I have given you the Land let it reform itself under the heat of your heart
You are my beautiful, perfect creation, i will continue to liberate you from under the possession.
I remember your language, i see your people

Walking down the streets of a modern San Salvador, i see the echo of my people in the gaze of the campesino
I see the destiny of my people in the children, that sing freely
The strength and kindness of the Creator in the hands of mothers
tired but valiant the mother continues to rise every morning.
May the suns fire never turn away from us, may it remind us of the ancient peoples of Latin America
the water that breathes, the wheat that has risen- it continues to sway through the earth rebuilding, replanting.
this land is mine it is yours

I carry a people in my voice
a language that we gave the land of the Savior
El Salvador do you remember?

You can feel the tide turning

This picture above describes who I've always been, jaja i love to wander, i love to dream,to fly, to love, to go off to foreign places,BUT time is at a stand still right now. with so many dreams, and places to go, I'm on a mission here.

Our world seems to be falling apart, with natural disasters, financial markets crashing, famine crises, and diseases plaguing nations, many of us are inclined to lose hope.

Every day, every minute, every second, i get a second chance, my hope is restored. As i hear of aboriginal leaders standing up for their rights in the Amazon, as i hear of a young American girl leaving it all behind to help orphans in Haiti, as i see the updates of my friend Dan and his wife in Africa, or as i hear the stories of my friend Ken in Vancouver as he builds relationships with those living on the streets. my hope is restored.

My eyes water, whenever i think of the people i have met on my trips, the lives that are imprinted in my heart forever, how i wish to see them again. You see, i used to think i was going to go out in to the world and change it, but i was in for a great surprise, as i opened up my eyes and heart, my world was changed. That's why i hope, that's why i hope with all I have.

Today i remembered Hermosinda, the cook at the ecolodge in the Amazon in Bolivia, her vibrant personality, her kindness and her desire to make the whole team feel loved. Sigh' you see its hard to forget people like that, people that bring flickers of hope in to your heart, when you are supposed to be the 'world changer'. I wonder how she is... She lit up my life.

Sometimes i smile to myself when i think of Miriam, Miriam stole my heart, her little four year old wit, laughter and love, crept in to my heart, she made my time in Tanzania all worth it. For the first little while you see, we thought Miriam couldn't speak English, until one day she started singing, the fugees to us jaja. Time stood still one day, when we found out Miriam had Malaria, normal for them, a disease that kills people for us. I wonder how she is... She lit up my life.

Monsenor Ayala's kindness always reminds me of what Grace is, all of the atrocities this man witnessed in El Salvador, yet his love and compassion for the people only got stronger. The patience he showed me, while telling me his story, sharing his church, home and food with the team, unbelievable. Hope, alive. I will not forget the words he said to me; "your fire, your fire is stronger then mine, mine is extinguishing I'm getting old, but your fire, just keep lighting it, and you will change the world". I wonder how He is... He lit up my life.





I've been realizing that perhaps my desire for travel, for new places, for the heat of the deserts, and the rain of the amazon, and the chill of the Andes mountains, is only my desire to meet more people like these wonderful human beings i have spoken about. The love each of them shared with me, makes me desire more of that. A little task list check mark for me in these next few days, is to get in contact with them, because relationships that light up your life are not for darker days. They are the roar of Hope, that intrudes into your heart, will you light up the world?


If going out in to the world has taught me one thing, its that when love is shared, there is nothing that can diminish the change a smile, a meal, a conversation and a goodbye hug can bring in to someones life. If there is one thing you will do today, be grateful for the beauty and freedom around you, and love the heck out of people. The most ferocious disease in this world is not cancer, or aids it is loneliness. If you want to change the world, stay where you are, and love those around you.

And you will feel the tide turning, because love is what makes this world revolve

That's why I Hope, That's why I hope with all i have.

And my head told my heart "let love grow"

Where you invest your love, you invest your life.

last year, as the autumn leaves fell, i felt my life falling apart, not allowing myself to see that the winter dead leaves would soon blossom again and spring.

Hope


Even though we may feel that the darkness robs us of the light,
Even though we are in a war torn world, i see speckles of light every where i look. This is what keeps me desiring more, i know that i was not made to just exist, if i do not dare to step in faith, the only thing i will lose is the ability to be me. To fully live.

There is a plague in this world, where we love the things that take up space, more then the Creator.
These days i am not just admiring the creation, but taking part in what the Creator has given me.

I dont desire a love that just aches and makes me blind.

the Journey has awoken me, 'arise o sleeper"- let love grow, let love grow

As the beauty around me seeks me, it gives life to my veins, it breathes into me a desire for comunity, a desire to change this world even more.

This world is hungry, it is thirsty- shall we continue to shed some Light,
and let love grow?

"The freedom we are looking for is the freedom to be ourselves"

'Get to know yourself'- Photograph by Carlos Roche (Trako)

I've often underestimated the time I've needed to spend by myself, with such a fast pace schedule- i rarely get the time to appreciate the beauty around me. These past two weeks, were full of overcoming and disarming my heart.
Im learning that the necessity of a smile and a kind word are worth more than gold, and the appreciation of a stranger, is often proving to make my day.

More than ever have I needed to be free to love with a love that is simple, direct and open to anyone at any time, in the unshakable conviction that such love can cast out all fear and overcome all the powers of destruction and death.

lets be honest, i really miss being out in the world, delving into unknown cultures, getting lost in the amazon and discovering new people to love, i miss it, however there seems to be a connection between all us people that travel away from home- i love how the universe works, it is such a small world, and no one is actually a stranger.

Two weeks ago, during the Hispanic Heritage week, we were able to connect with some pretty amazing people, people that have ceased to inspire me. This is why i feel that community is so important, especially the unity among people that want the common good. i was blown away by our artists, our volunteers and the people that came out to support us, things are only a great endeavor when they are shared.

Two people that have inspired me the most are Rocio and Carlos.

Rocio is one of the directors in the association, I've always insisted in her sharing her art with us, this time around she painted some of the most passionate pieces Ive seen in a long time. The meaning, the history and the courage behind each piece served as an answer to the risks Ive been afraid to take in being who i am. being desirous of the uncommon things, always wanting freedom and allowing the beauty of justice to frame may way of thinking- SO inspiring (i hope to have pictures of her art soon, to share with all of you). Paintings with a passionate conscience, absolutely breath taking pieces, that depict stories that are all to real in our countries, but that also offer hope and redemption. Beautiful!

Carlos and i met only about a month ago, in the crazy turns that life takes, we were connected by my love of art and his ability to capture beautiful images. After much insisting jaja (just kidding), he displayed his 2010 South American Photography exhibit at two of our events during the Hispanic Heritage week and did us the honour of taking pictures at our Folklore concert. Ive always thought that being able to take pictures is easy, focusing on the subject and taking the shot. However, capturing moments that are held in time by one click, is not easy and not common to many. I was brought back to my trips to South America as i looked through Carlos' pictures, although we visited these countries at different times, it was as if what i could remember had been held in that photograph for me to reminisce and long for. Thank you for the inspiration :)
You can checkout his AMAZING work here http://www.trakoroche.com

and be on the look out for some new upcoming projects we will be working on soon, EXCITED! :)

To be honest i started this post last week, but school work and exhaustion had caught on, rest i miss you :( jaja two more midterms and im free as a bird for another few weeks.
and in case anyone is interested 60 more days till CHRISTMAS!!!!! :D lol jaja

my love to all!

Struggle.Passion./ Thoughts

It's been a while...
pretending to be uninspired, attempting to move on and realizing that the need to be honest with myself has been my biggest fear. walking the streets full of people and feeling like a total stranger in my own skin. Wounds that had been patched up, start to resurface, in the burning light of raw honesty.

The need to write for me had become like breathing, it had become the way i swept the dust off my heart and was able to share. I paused during this time because i was able to pretend that i was free from all the fear i professed to have been liberated from. But wow, is God big.

Being 'forced' to write for the association this past week, really resurfaced a lot of things that haunted me about taking risks with what was on my heart, and where God has wanted me to go with the platform He has given me.

Struggle: struggle of those being oppressed, struggle of being misunderstood, struggle of basic human rights
Passion- what drives people to risk their significance , what is fostered in the heart of the little insignificant that can change the world.

Open up your heart and let Me in- Jesus

I.will.not.fear, I.will.not.fear, I.will.not.fear!!!

Tomorrow I will be giving a speech on behalf of the Hispanic Fraternity Association at our opening event called Viva Hamilton. This will be the first of four events part of our Hispanic Heritage week, God continues to be pushing us through, drawing Him closer to hearts on fire. Needless to say im nervous, unfortunately i wont have Ken there this year for my pep talk like last year ;) jaja I'll just remember to find a park and scream if i have to :)

My hope for tomorrow is that unity captivates the community, that we tether our dreams and passion on to the common cause of overcoming and renewal.

We are a people that have struggled, that have lost, that continue to fall beneath the cracks of injustice, but we are also a people of great courage of Hope of compassion and over all a people whose Passion flows through the world lead by the Wind.

Latin America you inspire me constantly and you seem to be the one that always places me in the most uncomfortable places, you seek me to be who i am, a Daughter.

I am thankful, for being who i am and for the opportunity to run like i've never run before.

releasing my fears!

hello everyone!!
it's been a while, life has been SO crazy!! :) Trying to live out life right now, enjoy, and release my fears. God is SOO good (all times) and compassionate towards this wandering soul.
i will be checking back soon, as i have some exciting thngs to share about this summer!




As we all travel on our journeys, our paths cross, intertwining, run parallel to and veer away from others and our envisioned destinies. Always bear in mind that, however frustrating the weaving and winding may be, we shall always come to rest exactly where we are meant to be. as people enter, depart, and possibly reenter your life, hold on to the fact that some will be permanent and some will be seasonal; never fear to grieve for those you've loved and lost, but remember to not let your grief cloud your head and heart or you may block the entrance of new acquaintances. Honor those who are constant and shower them with appreciation at every opportunity to further strengthen the bond. as plans are altered slightly or changed completely, take heart in the notion of experiencing life in all of its glorious variety. Mistakes are not losses, but rather lessons learned so extract the value and release the pain and discomfort. Embrace the vast differences the universe offers in all aspects and acknowledge the beauty of it all. And always be flexible enough to bend so that you will never break.


Had an amazing talk today with a good friend, he constantly reminds me of the beauty of God's purpose for me, and the uncommon life that awaits me. SOO inspired! :)
this also has really inspired me and tied perfectly with what my heart is feeling:

"I want to be un-common.

Go to your place. Dispatch your abilities, and unfurl my goodness. Most refuse. Few cooperate. We accept the present, but neglect it’s purpose. We accept the gift, thankyou, but ignore the Giver and promote self. Why, some of us have been known to parade up and Down the aisles, shouting, “Hey, look at me! “

Need an explanation for the anarchy in the world? You just read it. When you centre-stage your gifts and I pump my image and no one gives a lick about honoring God, dare we expect anything short of chaos?

God endows us with gifts so we can make him known. Period".

Max Lucado, Cure for the Common Life

"You are free to love without an agenda."

(Kristine took this picture while in Shakespeare& Co- i truly resonate with this sentiment, however i might change 'Paris' for a few other amazing places I've been to- today lets say I'm really missing the Amazon, so the Amazon it is!)- oh what joy! i hope i never stop feeling this way either!



This post is about some random thoughts and events that have happened in the last little while! sooo here goes! :)

Soooo I am back home now!!, I've been back for a couple weeks- pictures not posted, and little to no time, nor energy to blog- BUT i shall get to that soon, and i will also post my Bolivia pictures haha- its been a year ( a really good year at that)


I am thankful! i was reflecting during this past week at church, all the amazing people, things and places that have left an imprint in me this past year. To be honest, its not always easy to rejoice amidst brokenness and heartache. But i am choosing not live in that anymore. I choose to rejoice and as a friend said to me last week "Don't live in November, or you'll lose sight of the joys of April and then May too". and so I'm choosing to let go of November :)- Its good to be alive TODAY, i want to live today!

oh ya, i went to Europe- hahaha! what an amazing trip that was, got to spend an amazing 16 days with the best of friends, Nadia and Kristine. We have been the trio we are for about 4 years now, cant thank them enough for their incredible friendship and encouragement! Nadia and I met in high school and in second year of university she introduced me to Kristine and that day KG had a crazy conversation with us that changed our lives. She told us about her time in Mexico with Global Youth network and the rest is history!



Kristine is probably one of the most inspiring people i know, she IS perseverance and goes after her dreams- she flys! ( so incredibly honoured to have you in my life, you will do great on those law exams!!) Nadia brings the sense of humour and positivity- if at times i didn't go crazy on this trip it was because of her ridiculous jokes about 'when in Rome' haha (love you Nads! you make me smile so much, don't leave me next year too!! :()


Like i had said in my previous post this trip was a little difficult on the heart, i am grateful for the opportunity to travel and discover more of this beautiful world- but amidst my joy to wander, something in my heart was sad about travelling to Europe. At first it was an overwhelming feeling of guilt and apathy (never let that consume you!)- standing in history, in age old churches, castles and parks- God's presence overwhelmed me with compassion for the heart He had given me. One that chases and desires to burn with passion and change. But why? why all this desire to change the world, when i could easily choose to delight in the worldly pleasures i have at my door step?- Not that enjoying all this beauty is wrong, but my heart is ignited by an overwhelming feeling of hurt, brokenness, and poverty-

As i stood in Notre Dame Cathedral, i rejoiced in a different way then i ever had, overwhelmed by God's presence i cried- unable to explain to Nadia what was going on with me, i decided to keep walking around- in front of the statues of two women that had changed my life at age 14, I understood. St Therese of Lisieux and St Joan of Arc- two incredible french warriors. If you have ever been to Notre Dame, you will share in the same awe i was in because of the beauty of this church, but as i stood in such majesty, i looked at St Therese's hands as she stood there holding roses in her hands, i remembered a Word a friend had shared with me while skyping when i was in El Salvador, he said he saw me giving out roses to children on a dirt road, always trading Beauty for Ashes. Here i was in France, easily one of the most beautiful, luxurious places i had ever been to- but my heart was longing for Africa and Latin America- amidst the brokenness, poverty and injustice, i will never cease to choose them. They have chosen and stolen my heart- what a beautiful revelation of His true desire for me.

And so LOVE= FREEDOM!- i want to sail! :)


SO incredibly inspired by this: (WOOOHOO truth!)

"All I want from you is to trust Me with what little you can, and grow in loving people around you with the same love I share with you. It's not your job to change them, or to convince them. You are free to love without an agenda." — William P. Young (The Shack)

My seams have unraveled. I am undone.

'I want to kiss the world beautiful'

I want to kiss the world beautiful
Sometimes it's just more important to love
Than to always have it right
I want to kiss the world beautiful
I have no name for this desire
I believe in light, but don't know what to write
I want to kiss the world beautiful
Dream but never fall asleep
Go up to God and say, do you have plans today?
Might you be walking down my street?
I want to kiss the world beautiful
Lay down this life I think I would
Give up my shoes and some of these views
I don't know why just think I should
I want to kiss the world beautiful
-Martyn Joseph

One year ago today, i embarked on an amazing road trip through the province of Chalatenango in El Salvador, my Abuelita(grandma) Milagro's birth place and the land that saw my father grow up. Making me think about that amazing trip, turns my heart tender, and my eyes watery. So much identity, honour and sacrifice in those lands drenched in history, 12 hours and 6 cities, bumpy, sandy roads- all worth the crazy heat and sunburn.

Last year on my trip to El Salvador, i came into understanding of who my Father had made me to be. He planted in me a desire, a passion to want to "Kiss the world beautiful", to desire change, to be light, to seek justice, to love His people. So embedded in my blood, tethered into my Spirit revolution was birthed in my heart. With all the brokenness and filth, i desire to be in Latin America, it seems that brokenness and filth often find hope in each other, hey?
In my brokenness, God showed me i was made perfectly in His image, even if i am broken. i just needed to fall into that tender union with Him. Folding me a new everyday, because as i stand in my brokenness He calls me to love, like He did.

Today, i leave for Europe,but my gaze is on Jesus the liberator, Jesus the gatherer' of men, Jesus the Saviour (El Salvador)- The one who was, and continues to be the champion of the El Salvadorean people. Celebrating Monsenor Oscar Romero's life yesterday, reminded me that laments have a purpose, laments have a cost, but *'Hope is the seed of Liberation' and as much as i wish my plane would be taking me deep into the Amazon to be with the Tacana people, or the wondrous Andes mountains, or Puerto la Libertad in my beautiful little Nation of El Salvador, I know my Father has a reason for me to go to Europe. As i was told before, "Set the world on fire, Run like you've never run before, You were born to create tipping points for those without passion" I am sailing into the unknown with open arms and heart ready to love, because when there is nothing left to burn you must set yourself on fire.

Risk.

for the past few weeks i've been in a mix of emotions and wallowing in memories, unable to fully express how my heart has mapped itself out into a disarmed, vulnerable, unreleased captive. I turn to writing things down, as emotions can be fleeting- but true feelings have always been captured by words on paper that i can look back on. I learned a while ago that a broken heart is the first step in surrender, in that case i've taken a giant leap.

'When you can invest yourself deeply and intermittently in the life that surrounds you, instead of declaring yourself out of the game, because what has happened to you is too bad, too deep, too ugly for anyone to expect you to move on from, that’s that good rich place. That’s the place where things that looked for all intents and purposes, like curses, start to stand up and shimmer, and you realize with a gasp that they might have been blessings all along'.

Nothing good comes easily. You have to lose things you thought you loved, give up things you thought you needed. You have to get over yourself, beyond your past, and out from under the weight of your future.

The good stuff never comes easy.

Friendship is about risk. Love is about risk.

Inspired- thoughts& dreams

I've been learning recently to live in the sense of possibilities, i mean dreaming the impossible, allowing inspiration to transform my heart and to embrace healing. Sometimes i find it to be such an impossible task, but one thing i know is true- Love decides everything. He's got it under control. Giving life to my dreams, learning how to heal this brokeness inside of me, letting Love be my protest, walking alongside humanity raising the banner of love. The love it will emit wont be able to be disputed, for the light it will shine will be the light of a perfect love being emanted by a perfect Creator.






Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles and pray at all times.
Romans12:12
-truth.

The world is waiting :) soon, very soon- learning to be where God wants me to be.






When leaving the nest, you have one of two options:
to let yourself fall without even have tried to spread your wings,
or to flap those wings with all that is within you and learn to fly.
Either one can't be done unless you jump-
so i jump!

"Run like you've never run before."

In all the joys of today i received a message from a good friend, who gave me advice without knowing it,"Run like you've never run before", he said. And so i must, to Rwanda perhaps in a month or so. Here is what's been stirring in my heart in the last little while! :)












Run Like You've Never Run before

an unknown path, a winding dusty road, running towards me on the brink of taking the leap. they all take a hold of my hand and say "Run like you've never run before'.

removing spiderwebs from this cold frozen heart, as it breaks itself out into freedom, nations provide the sunrise.

Love is transforming me, how can i not be free?
capturing the slave i had let myself be, the Wind found me.
Foundations of love's rage for my liberation, loves captivating grace, how can i not be free?

called to be flags on the land, we will trace the gentle face of truth and allow for impassioned hearts to run into the Wild.
satisfying my heart with nothing less than Love
whoever is dedicated to truth and opens up to love must consent to the struggle which these decisions entail
Love let me see you.

walk in the sight of love, letting go of fear and being captured by the wonder of a burning spirit, that takes hold of the whole world, to open up the eyes of those that have forgotten. May we be kindness to those that have never felt the savouring Kiss of Freedom.
Folding out of my cocoon, into the mystery and the Wonder that the Wind holds, may I be like the dry wheat awaiting for the Sun to burn me and be its prey!
Understand that love is coming after you as if you were the only one, Run in to love's arms!

Run like you've never run before

Constant reminders of the change that is nearing, are within you,
under the field of stars, i still need the lamp post that will guide me, holding seeds of generations in my heart- setting the world on fire, searching the heart of mystery, will you run with me?

More than ever have I needed to be free to love with a love that is simple, direct and open to anyone at any time, in the unshakable conviction that such love can cast out all fear and overcome all the powers of destruction and death.

Break down the barriers with that gentle outcry of those that are lost, with those that you want me to love and console- seeds of generations in my heart, setting the world on fire.

an unknown path, a winding dusty road, running towards me on the brink of taking the leap. they all take a hold of my hand and say 'Run like you've never run before'.

let me be desirous only of that which let's others be- be within the presence of Truth, knowing the true thunder of love's conviction.

Mastering of time and space, shall limit the humanity that allows us to enter fully into a plan of love that transcends time and space, may we run freely into our own identity.

Stirring compassion, let us paint the Kingdom with all it's beautiful colours, allowing us to regain our humanity, the Humanity that glorifies itself in the Sunrise!

i want to live and i want to brave to set this world on fire with Love, and for that i ask of all of you will you "run like you've never run before?"