Dinner at Milita's

My eyes are invaded by tears, and that lump in my throat seems to follow me everywhere I go, I have questioned how long this feeling will be socially acceptable, because to me the flooding of emotion doesn't seem like it will ever leave my body. My heart keeps pumping amidst the broken and hollow crevices that have been left, and memories pop out of no where, sometimes making me feel like I am in those moments again.

A few weeks ago we celebrated my grandmothers 74th birthday, we would always have really deep conversations about life, that day was no different, I said to her Milita, what wish are you going to make for your birthday? and she said to me, I want you all to be happy, I want your dreams to come true, and I want you to sing like the most beautiful bird I've ever heard. My abuelita had this notion that I could sing like a bird, and she would always make me sing silly songs with her, like rancheras (haha)

Our family for so long revolved around the dinner table and around the woman with open arms and countless number of guests. I have realized that she gave me my first platform, with people coming and going, strangers, new friends, old friends, family- my grandma's house was always full of interesting and passionate people. I always wanted to have conversations with the adults and ask outrageous questions that many times my grandma encouraged. She never once told me, these are conversations for adults, she liked to hear me with my grand crazy dreams and ideas and would often help me develop them. The trust and friendship we had was not developed it was born in me, she would always remind everyone that because of me one of her dreams had come true; at age 7, I was testing her on the provinces of Canada and other historical facts so that she could become a Canadian citizen, the day she got her citizenship she gave me her little Canadian pin, and said "for my teacher' in her broken English.

The spot this amazing woman has held in my heart, has always made it swell with joy, with constant laughter and amazement. I have always spoken very proudly about my Milita, she truly lived up to her name Milagro (miracle), constantly reminding everyone around her that our journey's were connected miracles and that the tremendous love she shared was because she felt God's presence as she opened her heart each time. My grandma suffered a lot in her life, she went through a tough marriage, losing her son, fleeing from war, sleeping on the floor for months as a refugee in Costa Rica and finally a battle with her health. But not once did she ever say I am tired of fighting, even though her life had been inundated by war and violence, the peace she carried and shared was a testament that true peace is attainable. The fullness of God's grace carried her through it all, and she never ceased to give testimony of God's great love.

A week after my abuelita's birthday, she went Home to be with the Father. But she decided that her departure would be one last dinner party, hundreds showed up, to show love and respect for the woman that had opened her arms wide, to new-comers, to strangers and family every day of her life. When my grandma came to Canada, she became a mother for many, always having an extra room in her house for people that didn't have a place to stay or eat, she lived out the Gospel and when she wished for us to be happy on her birthday, she meant the fullness of happiness in loving, serving, dreaming and courageously walking the way she did.

What gives me joy is the freedom she is dancing in right now, I have a journal full of stories she shared with me, during her many stays at the hospital, we would sit on the bed and as she spoke I wrote. If my love for her can be explained in word, it would be 'thank you', I live in constant gratitude for everything she ever did, say or teach me. My heart is not hollow, its just hurting at the moment, I miss her at every moment, at home, at my uncles house where she lived, when I sing, when I write.  A couple of weeks before my abuelita passed away, we were talking about my trip to Tanzania, she was always intrigued by the country and its people and would always say "I want to see the pictures again, the people look so happy- we should go together". I promised her we would go together. My abuelita pushed me to the limits of my fears, and often challenged me to run harder for the things I believed in. The wisdom that our grandparents have, are miracles, seek out your grandparents, spend time with them, get to know them- the relationships you can develop will change you.

Set the dinner table today and always have a space set for a stranger- love, serve, be a witness. Our journey's are connected miracles.

Thank you Father for my Miracle, she was the most beautiful gift I could have ever asked for, grateful others were able to know your Love through her as well.

The tempo of my heartbeat

Ever stand in the middle of a field and let the wind just take possession?
In that moment do you find yourself invincible, do you allow yourself to be hopeful, full of peace and free?
does changing the world seem like the only option?

Ive had moments like that.
there was one moment in particular that changed me, while i was in the Bolivian Amazon, we would take day trips in to the town. We would spend an hour traveling by canoe, in the midst of mountains, trees, open water. I felt totally enveloped in the essence of the Creator. It has been to this day, one of the most amazing times in Worship for me. As the canoe would take off, all my heart wanted to do was give thanks and sing. The water was constant but still, there was a peace about the rhythm in the river that reminded me of God's heart beat. Strong waters, allowing a canoe to pass through its beating waves.
The tempo of my heartbeat adjusts to match the moment, and as my heart adjusts, so does God's, the way He loves each and everyone of of us, is unique to us, the surrendered love of the Father for his children is met with an, 'I know you'.

To be known, to be known as a daughter, to be loved by a love unmatched by words, consumed by the essence of His heartbeat, the only answer to give is, I am here, I am present.

But why only live for moments? Be present, allowing the essence of God to envelope us, to teach us, to walk with us, to love us.

When I realize I am not a broken daughter, but just His daughter, the only option for me is to change this world, is to love, to fight and break free of complacency.

The tempo of my heartbeat adjusts to match the moment, to match the hurt in my campesino friends eyes as they describe the war in El Salvador

The tempo of my heartbeat adjusts to match the moment, to match the hope the boys in Casa Hogar orphanage have in Venezuela

The tempo of my heartbeat adjusts to match the moment, when I walk in Toronto and feel a sleeping giant, saying I hurt, I am broken, I have talents, I will rise

Serving is an adjustment to our complacency, it is the difference between the noise of traffic and smell of pollution, to violins who spring breath into music, Serving is the touch of sunlight that brings the paintings of Monet alive.
Serving is breathing, it is running, it is living, living enveloped in the essence of God.

When your heart, stands still, in silence, it hears its beating rhythm, it finds its tempo, it finds its balance when swinging back in forth in motion, it adjusts to the moment, to the moment when life is breathed in.
May we live in acknowledgement of that moment always, allowing our hearts to feel life being drawn out, as God breathes life in to us, we are perfectly matched with the tempo of His heartbeat.

I will never be lost, I am a seed of this land

 Refined, redefined, found, loved, beloved, BE.LOVED
that is how this love letter starts

My spirit catches its breath as the love that invades my heart, tells me to heal the broken world.
Teach them how I love, Teach them how I love, my Father says
Show them how I love, my Father says
Act, He shouts
Caught on fire by my Fathers presence, I walk through the world wondering- how, when?
Sacrifice, Sacrifice that is what I am reminded of

Such a time as a this, requires sacrifice
It requires not just moments of faith, but a life of faith, at every second and every minute of the day
It requires presence, we have been called to heal this world
Healing doesn't include bandages to broken hearts and bruises, it requires total healing
Being bound to each other by Justice, we are responsible.

We are responsible, we must respond- It is time to express the happiness of being loved, it is a time to reach out with colors of joy, it is the time to love and forgive.

Our lack of understanding of how we are loved has decided our recent times, but this brokenness doesn't define how the fire of love can redefine, and refine

The little hands of Miriam, taught me that God's amazing power resides in the smallest of his people, Tanzania taught me that an awakening is constant, and that when desire to change the world is present, the little children need to be included

The gaze of the Yanomami people in Venezuela, transported me to years of colonization and hurt, but walked me through healing and break through, who we are resides in the depth of God's presence, we are never lost, we are seeds of this land

I will never be lost, I am a seed of this land

My heart has been scattered all around this world, planting seeds, trading beauty for ashes, giving roses interm of hurt and pain.

I walk the streets of Rio, with pain in my 14 year old heart, wondering why there is so much hurt, my heart gets tangled and all I want to do is  hide it. 'I don't want to hurt God, let my heart go'. Love, He says. Love

Touching ground in El Salvador, with plans and dreams bursting at the seams, I meet Love face to face, as He says, welcome home- time to love

I will never be lost, I am a seed of this land

Surrounded by mountains and love, I am bound to these people, I arrive in Bolivia, where freedom surrounds me and doesn't let me fade in to the distance, but says Be bold, you are free!

With hurt and terror, tripping in to history, Europe makes me feel trapped in a world, where I no longer feel God's presence, I called you to love here too, Ivania- why the fear, again?, He says to me
A love that took me to a land where I would never want to wander, with my feet dragging.
The love that searched my heart for more room, would not let me rest until I understood, that His love restores and I am whole again

Present

 present day, March 2013

I will never be lost, I am a seed of this land

Hamilton, you have been digging and tugging at my heart strings, running would be what I desire, but the stories of the people paint in me a canvas that fear was making me throw away
fear keeps us slaves in a cage whose doors have been swung open

I want to stir fire in to the hearts of the hurting, remember, you are beloved, BE. LOVED 

Clashing thoughts, presumptions, stigmas will keep us from loving
But tolerance is the brother of complacency, and only allows us to love those who are near, if we refuse to touch the hearts of those we do not know, we are refusing this world of a healed world.

Si no ahora, Cuando? If not now, when?- Mons. Oscar Romero

The way to heal is to restore, our foundations are shaken because the foundations are not founded in who we are honestly.

Let us revamp our visions, our hearts

Serving

Knowing that  we are seeds of this land, scattered to love, scattered to love until it hurts

In a world that doesn't need to paint over bullet holes, In a world that doesn't leave children without mothers ravaged by illness, In a world where our indigenous people's are  no longer being treated less then human, In a world where there is no need for refugees, just human being accessing freedom free of borders

On earth as it is in Heaven.


I will never be lost, I am a seed of this land

Specialize in the Impossible

Specialize in the impossible, sings to me, a slow and steady drum, a strum that adds to my breath.
Constructing with my hands, the ordinary becomes miraculous
The land underneath me is alive, it is a flower of fire, a volcano connected through my veins

If its about loving, don't let my spirit rest, I ask.
and my dream is granted.
If its about loving don't let my spirit rest, I ask
and strength is given
If its about loving don't let my spirit rest, I ask
and my heart is expanded
If it's about loving don't let my spirit rest, I ask
and I am given myself back, I am given my people back.

To know our people , is to know ourselves
To know ourselves it is to know, the Love that knew us first
and to know Love, we know that when it is about loving we shall not rest.

at this moment in Rexdale, Toronto, there are people incarcerated for coming to Canada, because they are being kidnapped in Colombia, because they are being forced to be child soldiers in Sudan, because the drug lord in Chiapas, Mexico has killed everyone in their family, because they are being trafficked, tortured, and killed for being Roma.

at this moment in a small town in Puerto Rico, their is a young boy expressing his thoughts about being colonized in the 21st century, the expression bleeds hope on the wall, "I will be free".

at this moment, native Amazonian people are being pulled from their lands in Brasil, their lands are being stripped from them to build... a highway

at this moment there are people that are bound by Justice, in Canada, in Latin America, in Africa, everywhere, every place where when it comes to loving, the Spirit doesn't rest.

The dreams that we cultivate are manifested through the value we pour in to the path we have decided to take.

I am no longer in dream mode, dreams that have become paused never move with the rhythm our generation is demanding.

I am in walking mode, every step I take, is a step that would have been impossible, impossible if my uncle Francisco Efrain would have not decided to fight with the revolution in El Salvador, a step that would have been impossible if my family wouldn't of fled  El Salvador. But this would have been impossible if I wouldn't have realized, that the war, the torture, the hurt and pain that my people still breathe like pollution, shouldn't have happened.

My purpose is Peace, my generation is bound by Justice. We are the demand of our people, we must specialize in the impossible. Impossible for lifeless bodies, but possible for bodies that are not our own, possible for Spirits with a call, possible for hearts that are interconnected with the musings of the Creator.

I am no longer in dream mode, dreams that have become paused never move with the rhythm our generation is demanding.

I am in walking mode- walk with me.

Choose what gives your heart the most integrity

- It is Love that makes the revolution

"Choose what gives your heart the most integrity".- Nathanael Gerber

Since Tuesday night these lines have been playing in my spirit, unable to shake them off, I live in this statement and say that I will chose, that I want to choose, that today I choose.
 I choose my dreams, I choose my dreams of seeing justice in this world, I choose my dreams of passionate people making a difference in every corner of this world, I choose my dream of peace on earth, I choose to forgive myself, I choose to forgive you and over all I choose to love, to rejoice, to passionately keep fighting.

The notion of feeling tiny amidst skyscrapers, when in my heart a giant roars is a betrayal to the Love that chose me. In 2010, I was surrounded by mountains and dreams, I was being swallowed in to the most beautiful, consuming scenery of Latin America. Feeling small in the Amazon, was a testament to the beauty God had created, embracing it; is a testament to the beauty God has created in ME.

Fear has since been trying to cripple me, cripple my heart, cripple my dreams, cripple my speech, cripple my writing and cripple my strength.

The first cry I declare in victory is with pain, with honesty, with fear that is being overcome by God's faithfulness and abundant grace in my life. Amidst a life that breathes, a lifeless skeleton is what I was choosing to live in, even though the fire of truth has been trying to burn through me, today I choose to burn, burn, burn.

I choose to burn because the injustice in this world is not a crippling cancer that cannot be cured, but a thorn that will be pulled out and eradicated if those of us that choose love and unity decide to stand up!

If love remains, which it does, If the love that keeps giving continues too, which it does; we stand with every human being, we will fight against the disgusting plight of sorrow and hate we are meeting the nations with when they converge on to Canadian soil.

If love remains, which it does, If the love that keeps giving continues too, which it does; the immigrant and refugee will be greeted with open doors, not with  hesitation that they will make our borders unsecure.

The hatred that fills our hearts is enough, ENOUGH is ENOUGH! Many of us have dreams of going out in to the nations and bringing the good news, yet when the nations come to our country and they so desperately need our love and compassion, we are afraid for our security. How dare we have the audacity to want to serve the nations, yet we inadvertently will only serve them if they do not decide to invade 'our land', use our services, take advantage of our tax dollars, and ruin our economy? How dare we not be standing up in the masses for the refugees and immigrants that come in to our countries?

I choose to love the refugee, because it gives integrity to my heart.


If love remains, which it does, If the love that keeps giving continues too, which it does;
We will not stand by and watch our government support the mass murder of people in other countries, we will let our government know that the lives of the Palestinians are as valuable as the lives of the Israeli's. We will let our government know that the systemic hatred they impose on to the Roma people, who were also victims of the Holocaust is not just unacceptable but participating in murder and perpetrating violent and hateful societies.

 We will let our government know that ignoring and ensuing hatred towards those living in poverty, will not just make for a more unjust, uncompassionate society, but will continue to build a country fuelled by consuming indifference. When will we learn and stop saying, "never again", when will we refuse bandaids like Ontario Works and food banks, and actually hold our government and ourselves accountable for the poverty that drowns our society ENOUGH is ENOUGH!

I choose to love the Palestinian, the Israeli, the Roma and the poor, because it gives integrity to my heart.
I choose to fight back against the government with love, If we continue to choose love for those that are marginalized, love will break indifference!

If love remains, which it does, If the love that keeps giving continues too, which it does;
We will stand with the First Nations community, not just in Canada but around the world, as our native people have had a glimpse of forgiveness and an end to sorrow, only bandaids have been applied to keep them shut. May the journey of forgiveness, be met with justice, met with an end to hatred, an end to sorrow, an end systemic violence, an end to promises unkept. Creator has given us this land, so we may live together in unity, but to live in unity without repression. I stand in Solidarity, not to help, or give answers, but to love, to love those that love this country so much, they are willing to rise up!

If love remains, which it does, If the love that keeps giving continues too, which it does;
I choose today, I choose Hamilton, I choose my present. I choose to live everyday in God's presence, bursting with joy because the love that He gives me cannot be contained. I choose to release the honest and beautiful truths, that God shares with me, I choose to remind you today, yes, YOU that there is no such thing as help-less or voice-less, we simply see helpless or voiceless because we have forgotten of the great courage and strength that we carry, the fight that we may feel, has been overcome. Overcome your fear to choose what gives integrity to your heart.


I choose all of this, because love chose me, because what gives integrity to my heart is Freedom, the freedom that was given to me as True Love hung on the tree and said, 'IT IS FINISHED'. We are free, free to stand with the refugee, free to stand with the marganalized, free to stand with the victim of war. Free because we were chosen by Love himself, to love one another.

- Chose what gives your heart the most integrity

Love until it hurts.

In no moment like this have I felt the need to be closer to the Father, chasing life in death I have chosen life time and time again, because He chose me.

He chose me.

I have lived this whole past year, involved in many amazing things, life changing things that have brought me to discover more and more who I am. But in this discovery I have found a broken girl, I wander in this place drenched in Hope, unable to truly give of myself to the purpose He created me for. All i know is that He chose me, as He hung on the cross, He still chose me and because of this i want to learn more and more to love like He does, to transform like He does, to rejoice like He does and to glorify the Father like He does.

As a child I used to pray to feel Jesus' heart, and these past few years I have seen glimpses of what that feels like, but in these last few months working with the greater community, I leave every appointment broken, broken down to the injustices of this world, broken for loneliness, broken for sickness, broken for thinking I cannot change the world

But i see heaven invade these spaces everyday, God's presence gives me strength to encourage, and to love strangers that come in to my office everyday. My desire to change the world comes from the heart God has placed in me, these dreams of justice, peace, unity and love coincide with His, I will not be blind to our brokenness because even in all of this muck, Jesus is glorified by our choice for Life.

To the refugee that comes in to my office- let Heaven come.
To the cancer patient that comes in to my office- let Heaven come.
To the lonely that comes in to my office- let Heaven come
and to the broken- let Heaven come.

I revel in the notion that Love is what will break the injustices of this world, and that God has chosen us to participate with Him. To love, and to love until it hurts.

I experienced two weeks ago, what I had experienced in many of my trips, that loving until it hurt is what keeps me alive, interviewing this older man, i realized that the hardship of immigration carries on for years, that loneliness and separation of true community has left people behind. As i wept for him, i knew i wept for all of my people. Many from Latin America are experiencing what this man is experiencing, the feeling of loneliness would not escape my heart, his sun drenched face, his scolded hands- everything didn't escape me, and my only reasoning is that this is because i have been called to make a difference, and because i need to live up to that purpose. Jesus, you have trusted me with so much, make me whole so that I may be who you see me to be.

I learn to love in different ways everyday, and recently with the Ecumenical Refugee Support Committee, i learn to love this government that continues to disappoint me each and everyday, I will love them, because it is through different acts of love, that they will be transformed.

We are not a Church of broken people, we are people that have chosen to stay broken, our brothers and sisters need us to stand and be who we are, so that we may stand with them.

"Your gift is not for you.
You cannot discover who you are by yourself.
It has to be in the context of serving people."
-Bill Johnson

Aqui se respira lucha

Every beat of my heart i want to live in worship.

 The Father has infinitely inspired me in these past few months, He moves me in such a away that makes me only want to be present.
I want my life to be a song that sings of freedom, of a girl who seeks peace and justice everywhere she goes, i want to love, love, love.

From May till now, I've been quiet with my own writing, I've struggled, I've matured, I've fallen, i've gotten up, I've moved on, I've learned to love again, to forgive- but most importantly I've learned to be present.
I've reencountered a passion for community that I thought was lost, I have realized that my love for justice is deep rooted in my love for latin america, but that those roots bring me back here, Hamilton.
I dream of a language that would unite us all, that would bring the Church to what it was originally meant to be, instead of waiting i want to be part of that process, i want to be part of the artistry that continues to create Kingdom within our communities.

As communities our duty is to love, despite our differences we are called to LOVE.
I have the privilege of being the daughter of two of the most amazing people i know, my parents selflessness and care for their fellow brother and sister has been contagious and has been a driving force in forming the person I am today.

Recently we dealt with the passing of  my dad's best friend whom because of the war in El Salvador was left as an orphan at a very young age, Matias didn't have any blood family, but he had us. In life and in death, we are called to love, we are called to envelop people with that beautiful grace Jesus so willingly gives us. Being an immigrant or refugee forces you to breathe struggle, to breathe fight, the injustices of the countries that are left behind are for ever imprinted in the spirit. The passion of the latin american community drives me to keep working towards the dreams that I hold close to my heart but that i willingly share. I refuse to forget that at this moment there are children abandoned on the street, i refuse to forget those that do not have a voice, the right to education, the right to living without war and violence. I refuse to forget those that are forgotten, the war in El Salvador 'ended' in 1992, but the many children left abandoned are still abandoned, Matias was one of those children. His passing has really pierced my spirit, because as a community we often forget what a small gesture, smile or act of kindness can do for someone that is alone. Let us be reminded of the people we get angry at in the Tim Hortons line, or the person we are screaming at in traffic, or the homeless person we pass by on the way to work, everyone has a story, shall we listen, love and be the community we are meant to be?

Aqui se respira lucha
Here we breathe struggle

This is a struggle with  a happy ending, we must choose that happy ending, the storm passes and justice prevails. I often struggle with all the wonderful things God has given me, but the thing is even though I may not be ready to receive or be who He has made me to be, I am ready and worthy in His eyes.

"Qué pequeñas son mis manos en relación con todo lo que la vida ha querido darme"

-Ramón J. Sénder

"How small are my hands in relation to all that Life has wanted to give me"

-Ramón J. Sénder

I am constantly given opportunities to see God's amazing purpose and love in others, i see it every week at the Hamilton Community Legal Clinic, I see it in Santiago's love and work with Refugees, I see it in Minnelle's commitment to bringing dignity and compassion at the funeral home, I see it in Nate every time he shares his music and vision with the world, in Alanna when she shares the musings of her wonderful spirit as she so deeply loves God's heart and wants to see a change in this world, In Carlos' untainted love and passion for art (and Easter Island ;) ), in Erica as she passes on her passion for learning and discovering, and in Ken as he embarks on his amazing journey in Ecuador- My dear friends, my family- your dreams help my heart keep beating. Thank you for being those beams of light on this earth.

Let's hear it for love!

Come Alive 

 Life is not meant to be lived in such a way that we tiptoe quietly into our deaths. Maybe we should take big leaps, big steps, dances and prances... It is wonderful and beautiful to be alive... and yet we are so careful and we conform to the world as if our lives were just meant to hide in the ordinary...

 I’ve allowed the hustle and bustle of life to overwhelm me.

 What makes you come alive?

I’ve been searching for some sort of meaning, purpose, inspiration that will bring me back to life, i’ve found myself walking around, with breath coming out of my lungs, but my breathing seems to be life-less, less life, less heart, less l.i.v.i.n.g.

  i need to come alive 
 where did my passion go? 
 i need to come alive

 We get in a routine and somewhere along the line, we start rolling with the punches. We start letting circumstances take precedence over our hopes and dreams. And Lately, I’ve been pondering a few things:  We were created to create. We were created to move with purpose. Today you have a decision to make. Will you choose to be consumed by your own personal comfort? Or will you choose to be so consumed with loving and dreaming for others that you begin to create change?

  “The love for the less fortunate is a beautiful thing- the love for those who suffer, for those who are poor, the sick, the failures, the unlovely. This is compassion, and it touches the heart of the world. This is God’s love. It conquers the world.” – Francis Chan

  i need to come alive
 where did my passion go?
 i need to come alive

 how can i restore my heart’s life?
 i think the answer lies in honesty, being honest with myself, with the world and especially with my community. radical change only happens, when we chose to be radically changed ourselves. 

I am a wanderer, an adventurer, i have felt stuck time and time again here in Hamilton, my day to day, working at a cell phone store, school, and working with the AFH have slowly become part of a routine. i am stuck in a lifeless passion for what i do.

  i need to come alive 
 where did my passion go?
 i need to come alive

In this search for passion, i came up with a theory: at one point i was passionate about all of these things, and the common denominator was, people, i am passionate about people, i am passionate about change, about justice, about art and collective communities. What is stopping me from pursuing that? lack of honesty with myself, as much i love to love, i am afraid to love, and working with people, building community and creating change all include loving and being loved.

 we have been consumed by our daily routines that letting people be part of our day to day becomes fearful.
  i need to come alive
 where did my passion go?
 i need to come alive

i’ve been realizing that the only way for me to remain passionate is to be passionate about my friends and their dreams as well, building community around friendship seems to be the way of moving through the heart lines of life.

 Recently i was able to spend some time with some of my dearest friends:

 Santiago is on his way to pour out life in to the States for a few months (Set the world on fire!!) 

Minnelle is starting up a business she is excited and passionate about (GO GIRL!!)

 Nate is continuing to wow me with his music and beautiful ways of building community (keep changing the world, one community at a time, one heart at a time) He has a concert coming up, check it out!! ( https://www.facebook.com/events/445538782125859/ )

 and this weekend i got to see Carlos in action as he took pictures at the Carassauga festival, your dedication, love and passion for pursuing your dreams inspires me, keep at it! (http://www.flickr.com/photos/trakoroche/ )

 Thank you friends, you make me come alive. :)

 I will always find my heart wandering around the world, but Hamilton, your imperfection breathes life in to me, your schools, your children, your distinct communities make me come alive. lets keep creating change, life, and community

  we are worth the risk.

So again – here’s my question:
What makes you come alive?

 Go after it.

Find your passion and purpose and move with courage.

 and since we are being honest (hehe) There are certain moments in life that I miss.

This is one of them: Traveling across the world with some of my dearest friends & playing games in the Amazon with village kids.

Take me back to Latin America. My feet are longing to be on foreign soil.


 Friends: Lets Go!

Jump First, Fear Later

I came across this article a couple of days ago, it captures a lot of what has been tugging at my heart strings recently!
a quick update on my life, soon to come :)


This is the thing: When you hit 25 or 30, everything begins to divide. You can see very clearly two kinds of people. On one side, people who have used their 20s to learn and grow, to find … themselves and their dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults. Then there’s the other kind, who are hanging onto college, or high school even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs they hate, because they’re too scared to get another one. They’ve stayed with men or women who are good but not great, because they don’t want to be lonely. … they mean to develop intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like life is one big frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live in an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than when they graduated.

Don’t be like that. Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal.

Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? … Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?”

Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe … life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.

— Relevant magazine

"I can send you anywhere, right?"- Jesus

I have a lot of really great and encouraging updates, but I'll leave that for another post.

Tonight i want to share my heart, authentically pour out what my heart cries out for and at this point is screaming out for.

This past week ive been very busy with school work, im really teaching myself that procrastination is an addiction i no longer want to be defined by, so today my sister and i decided to do our homework together, worked out to be very successful, but very draining. Ive been emotionally and physically exhausted, i long for that sense of revival to fill my heart, for a feeling of flying, an extraorindary miracle to sweep me off my feet, so i can continuosly feel drunk off the Spirit of God. What the heck am i waiting for?? Seriously, Jesus longs to share with us His love and we stay there saying, "When will you arrive?"

Tonight i had to pause, literally go to my room, sit in my bed and say to God, what is this all about?, i am finding new areas where God pursues my passions in, i am happy with school (minus the crazy amounts of work), i love my placement, couldnt have found a better career, my family and friends shower me with joy. Yet, there is a form of discontent in my heart, something in me tugs at my heart strings and says "WAKE UP", ive said it here before and perhaps i hadnt not truly understood it, until tonight.

My dreams, my true dreams, consist of sharing the unconditional love i know, mending broken hearts, bringing justice and dignity to those that have been wronged, and wandering the nations, passing around Hope.

That.is me.

I have been a hopeless wanderer since i was a kid, always wanting to explore, yearning for adventure, but there was always a common subject "i dont want to be in Hamilton". What has all this fear and angst about being in Hamilton been about??

Fear
Fear

I have traveled the world, exploring, experiencing the most EXTRaordinary miracles and times. Knowing, truly knowing that God would show up in every opportunity i would have to show people His love. Why, WHY, have i not been able to do that here?? If i am called to teach peace, sow love, break the world indifferent from injustice, why have i denied the place i call 'home'?

In the past two years, i have been given opportunity after opportunity to work with the community, but have i truly fallen in love with the community, the way i am inlove with 'world'? It is not till very early this year, that Papa has slowly been sparking me with fire, for this community. Perhaps it has been because of my fear that i have never truly felt passionate for Hamilton. But my friends, i tell you, there is so much more Hope here then the hurt and dirt we see. If it is a true Kingdom that we long for, if it is the Kingdom of love, compassion, and justice we long for, Jesus has been preparing Hamilton for a while. Shall we work?

Being a social worker will be about providing Hope, solidarity, and encouragement to people, often 'bandaging' up the injustice and hurt people experience. We have been called to be more then just bandages in this world. Be light. Hamilton hurts, homelessness, addictions,violence, poverty all plague this city. We need more then just social programs to bandage problems. This is true for every community, for every country, but what is even more authentically true is the Hope that resurrects from Hamilton daily. Art being shared, music being composed, flowers sprouting from crevices of darkness. The people of this city are drenched in Hope. I am not made for this world, but God has not made a mistake in placing me here. :)

I truly do not want to dispell the Hopeful and encouraging messages i have shared about the amazing love God has sowed in me for the world, but for now, my world, my true stomping ground of Hope is Hamilton. I find peace in knowing that where He has placed me is where i need to fall in love, the more i know Jesus, the more i know His heart lives in the crevices of hopelessness and injustice. He is here.

Into the Breeding Ground of Hope

It feels as if January has been here for months and months. I started my placement just a few weeks ago, i went in with many thoughts, prejudices, self created walls and barriers.
Something in me kept saying "wait"
many friends encouraged me, saying they believed this placement would be good for me, that something wonderful would come out of it.
But I already had a wall building, a wall of fear, of confusion, one that didn't reflect who Jesus calls me to be.

Be love
Love more
Love until it hurts, love until love is the only thing that is left

starting to build relationships with these kids, putting a name to statistics and stereotypes, i was forced to become uncomfortable, out of my zone, and into the breeding ground of Hope.

So much need, so much darkness, so much hatred, so much anger. An angst built up by barriers and broken dreams, of let down children. Of the so many places and faces I've met in the last 5 years, i had not felt so hopeless then when i entered that school. We had forgotten that this was the chosen future we were deciding for children that didn't have a say.

But it was until i heard them sing, i heard their dreams, their aspirations, and a little help from Mumford and Sons. "but i was told by Jesus all is well".

There is a future beyond expectations and numbers, another world is possible for them and it doesn't have to belong in a Utopia. Sometimes i might come across as preachy and overally idealistic, but it is the only way i know how to breathe. My family left hopelessness behind, in a war that stripped them of their freedom, forced to make way in a place that was not home. Yet they have always hoped for a better El Salvador, one without violence, without empty bellies, with homes and freedom. So for me this will be my 'little' El Salvador for now.

We should all have "little' El Salvador's, places that bloom because of encouragement, kindness and compassion. These kids are the future, why have we given up, before their tomorrow has arrived?

I have a lot to learn, in the upcoming months, i have a lot to give in the everyday exchange and i have a lot to receive, for this heart that keeps afloat for the so called hopeless

Let me learn from where I have been
Keep my eyes to serve
My hands to learn

Traigo un pueblo en mi voz/ I carry a people in my voice

Yesterday in the midst of studying for exams, i was hit with inspiration. Sparked by a connection that I made with a group of Roma people in Hamilton on Saturday. Lunik 9 was the subject of the event, the largest refugee slum in Europe, more then 500 Roma people living in unbearable conditions. It was Culture Conversations 3rd event, but this time while Carlos took pictures, i felt a deep connection with the family we were taking pictures of , their heavy hearts transmitted something into my heart, it reminded me of El Salvador. This piece came out of my heart, almost perusing me to uncover, my heart of hearts, to top it all off i realized that today is the anniversary of The Massacre of El Mozote, one of the most devastating crimes of the El Salvadorean civil war. The way this piece relates so directly to what happened in El Mozote and continues to happen around the world amazes me, the Spirit continues to make me long for Justice and this is proof of it.




at the sound of a wooden flute
I am on the deserted path
i keep stretching through the highest of trees
needing the Sunlight
from the loneliness of the forgotten echoes of yesterday
my heart beats, thump thump thump
joy unravels the veins and particles of what im holding so close
i have been summoned to give in, to disarm
my Creator, whispers more Wind then roots into me, swaying from the east to the west
the sunset kisses me as we embrace
the sun drenched land, crackling through my feet
searching for anything that looks familiar, a pot, a spoon, a necklace, a vase
all i see are broken pieces
where have my people gone?

silence
silence

i keep stepping over my words, i don't remember what they sound like
na hu a? nahua?
a language that we gave the land of the Savior
El Salvador do you remember?

silence
silence

the essence of peace has left my land
as the birds no longer sing, and the waters are stilled
Creator, i hold my arms outstretched, will you tell me where to fly next?
I carry a people in my Voice
I hold a memory that was stolen
I carry a people in my Voice
i see those that were born from my people suffer
the land is infertile, Mother groans for there is no fruit, the people are unable to cultivate, the tyrant has stolen from them
the children are naked, the grandmothers are left behind
and the fathers and sons have been disappeared and killed

I carry a people in my Voice
a language that we gave to the land of the Savior
El Salvador do you remember?

The Wind whispers the Creators desire to me

I have given you the ocean, swoon it with your sharp gaze
I have given you the Harvest, it is sprouting out of your hands
I have given you the Land let it reform itself under the heat of your heart
You are my beautiful, perfect creation, i will continue to liberate you from under the possession.
I remember your language, i see your people

Walking down the streets of a modern San Salvador, i see the echo of my people in the gaze of the campesino
I see the destiny of my people in the children, that sing freely
The strength and kindness of the Creator in the hands of mothers
tired but valiant the mother continues to rise every morning.
May the suns fire never turn away from us, may it remind us of the ancient peoples of Latin America
the water that breathes, the wheat that has risen- it continues to sway through the earth rebuilding, replanting.
this land is mine it is yours

I carry a people in my voice
a language that we gave the land of the Savior
El Salvador do you remember?

You can feel the tide turning

This picture above describes who I've always been, jaja i love to wander, i love to dream,to fly, to love, to go off to foreign places,BUT time is at a stand still right now. with so many dreams, and places to go, I'm on a mission here.

Our world seems to be falling apart, with natural disasters, financial markets crashing, famine crises, and diseases plaguing nations, many of us are inclined to lose hope.

Every day, every minute, every second, i get a second chance, my hope is restored. As i hear of aboriginal leaders standing up for their rights in the Amazon, as i hear of a young American girl leaving it all behind to help orphans in Haiti, as i see the updates of my friend Dan and his wife in Africa, or as i hear the stories of my friend Ken in Vancouver as he builds relationships with those living on the streets. my hope is restored.

My eyes water, whenever i think of the people i have met on my trips, the lives that are imprinted in my heart forever, how i wish to see them again. You see, i used to think i was going to go out in to the world and change it, but i was in for a great surprise, as i opened up my eyes and heart, my world was changed. That's why i hope, that's why i hope with all I have.

Today i remembered Hermosinda, the cook at the ecolodge in the Amazon in Bolivia, her vibrant personality, her kindness and her desire to make the whole team feel loved. Sigh' you see its hard to forget people like that, people that bring flickers of hope in to your heart, when you are supposed to be the 'world changer'. I wonder how she is... She lit up my life.

Sometimes i smile to myself when i think of Miriam, Miriam stole my heart, her little four year old wit, laughter and love, crept in to my heart, she made my time in Tanzania all worth it. For the first little while you see, we thought Miriam couldn't speak English, until one day she started singing, the fugees to us jaja. Time stood still one day, when we found out Miriam had Malaria, normal for them, a disease that kills people for us. I wonder how she is... She lit up my life.

Monsenor Ayala's kindness always reminds me of what Grace is, all of the atrocities this man witnessed in El Salvador, yet his love and compassion for the people only got stronger. The patience he showed me, while telling me his story, sharing his church, home and food with the team, unbelievable. Hope, alive. I will not forget the words he said to me; "your fire, your fire is stronger then mine, mine is extinguishing I'm getting old, but your fire, just keep lighting it, and you will change the world". I wonder how He is... He lit up my life.





I've been realizing that perhaps my desire for travel, for new places, for the heat of the deserts, and the rain of the amazon, and the chill of the Andes mountains, is only my desire to meet more people like these wonderful human beings i have spoken about. The love each of them shared with me, makes me desire more of that. A little task list check mark for me in these next few days, is to get in contact with them, because relationships that light up your life are not for darker days. They are the roar of Hope, that intrudes into your heart, will you light up the world?


If going out in to the world has taught me one thing, its that when love is shared, there is nothing that can diminish the change a smile, a meal, a conversation and a goodbye hug can bring in to someones life. If there is one thing you will do today, be grateful for the beauty and freedom around you, and love the heck out of people. The most ferocious disease in this world is not cancer, or aids it is loneliness. If you want to change the world, stay where you are, and love those around you.

And you will feel the tide turning, because love is what makes this world revolve

That's why I Hope, That's why I hope with all i have.

And my head told my heart "let love grow"

Where you invest your love, you invest your life.

last year, as the autumn leaves fell, i felt my life falling apart, not allowing myself to see that the winter dead leaves would soon blossom again and spring.

Hope


Even though we may feel that the darkness robs us of the light,
Even though we are in a war torn world, i see speckles of light every where i look. This is what keeps me desiring more, i know that i was not made to just exist, if i do not dare to step in faith, the only thing i will lose is the ability to be me. To fully live.

There is a plague in this world, where we love the things that take up space, more then the Creator.
These days i am not just admiring the creation, but taking part in what the Creator has given me.

I dont desire a love that just aches and makes me blind.

the Journey has awoken me, 'arise o sleeper"- let love grow, let love grow

As the beauty around me seeks me, it gives life to my veins, it breathes into me a desire for comunity, a desire to change this world even more.

This world is hungry, it is thirsty- shall we continue to shed some Light,
and let love grow?

"The freedom we are looking for is the freedom to be ourselves"

'Get to know yourself'- Photograph by Carlos Roche (Trako)

I've often underestimated the time I've needed to spend by myself, with such a fast pace schedule- i rarely get the time to appreciate the beauty around me. These past two weeks, were full of overcoming and disarming my heart.
Im learning that the necessity of a smile and a kind word are worth more than gold, and the appreciation of a stranger, is often proving to make my day.

More than ever have I needed to be free to love with a love that is simple, direct and open to anyone at any time, in the unshakable conviction that such love can cast out all fear and overcome all the powers of destruction and death.

lets be honest, i really miss being out in the world, delving into unknown cultures, getting lost in the amazon and discovering new people to love, i miss it, however there seems to be a connection between all us people that travel away from home- i love how the universe works, it is such a small world, and no one is actually a stranger.

Two weeks ago, during the Hispanic Heritage week, we were able to connect with some pretty amazing people, people that have ceased to inspire me. This is why i feel that community is so important, especially the unity among people that want the common good. i was blown away by our artists, our volunteers and the people that came out to support us, things are only a great endeavor when they are shared.

Two people that have inspired me the most are Rocio and Carlos.

Rocio is one of the directors in the association, I've always insisted in her sharing her art with us, this time around she painted some of the most passionate pieces Ive seen in a long time. The meaning, the history and the courage behind each piece served as an answer to the risks Ive been afraid to take in being who i am. being desirous of the uncommon things, always wanting freedom and allowing the beauty of justice to frame may way of thinking- SO inspiring (i hope to have pictures of her art soon, to share with all of you). Paintings with a passionate conscience, absolutely breath taking pieces, that depict stories that are all to real in our countries, but that also offer hope and redemption. Beautiful!

Carlos and i met only about a month ago, in the crazy turns that life takes, we were connected by my love of art and his ability to capture beautiful images. After much insisting jaja (just kidding), he displayed his 2010 South American Photography exhibit at two of our events during the Hispanic Heritage week and did us the honour of taking pictures at our Folklore concert. Ive always thought that being able to take pictures is easy, focusing on the subject and taking the shot. However, capturing moments that are held in time by one click, is not easy and not common to many. I was brought back to my trips to South America as i looked through Carlos' pictures, although we visited these countries at different times, it was as if what i could remember had been held in that photograph for me to reminisce and long for. Thank you for the inspiration :)
You can checkout his AMAZING work here http://www.trakoroche.com

and be on the look out for some new upcoming projects we will be working on soon, EXCITED! :)

To be honest i started this post last week, but school work and exhaustion had caught on, rest i miss you :( jaja two more midterms and im free as a bird for another few weeks.
and in case anyone is interested 60 more days till CHRISTMAS!!!!! :D lol jaja

my love to all!

Struggle.Passion./ Thoughts

It's been a while...
pretending to be uninspired, attempting to move on and realizing that the need to be honest with myself has been my biggest fear. walking the streets full of people and feeling like a total stranger in my own skin. Wounds that had been patched up, start to resurface, in the burning light of raw honesty.

The need to write for me had become like breathing, it had become the way i swept the dust off my heart and was able to share. I paused during this time because i was able to pretend that i was free from all the fear i professed to have been liberated from. But wow, is God big.

Being 'forced' to write for the association this past week, really resurfaced a lot of things that haunted me about taking risks with what was on my heart, and where God has wanted me to go with the platform He has given me.

Struggle: struggle of those being oppressed, struggle of being misunderstood, struggle of basic human rights
Passion- what drives people to risk their significance , what is fostered in the heart of the little insignificant that can change the world.

Open up your heart and let Me in- Jesus

I.will.not.fear, I.will.not.fear, I.will.not.fear!!!

Tomorrow I will be giving a speech on behalf of the Hispanic Fraternity Association at our opening event called Viva Hamilton. This will be the first of four events part of our Hispanic Heritage week, God continues to be pushing us through, drawing Him closer to hearts on fire. Needless to say im nervous, unfortunately i wont have Ken there this year for my pep talk like last year ;) jaja I'll just remember to find a park and scream if i have to :)

My hope for tomorrow is that unity captivates the community, that we tether our dreams and passion on to the common cause of overcoming and renewal.

We are a people that have struggled, that have lost, that continue to fall beneath the cracks of injustice, but we are also a people of great courage of Hope of compassion and over all a people whose Passion flows through the world lead by the Wind.

Latin America you inspire me constantly and you seem to be the one that always places me in the most uncomfortable places, you seek me to be who i am, a Daughter.

I am thankful, for being who i am and for the opportunity to run like i've never run before.

releasing my fears!

hello everyone!!
it's been a while, life has been SO crazy!! :) Trying to live out life right now, enjoy, and release my fears. God is SOO good (all times) and compassionate towards this wandering soul.
i will be checking back soon, as i have some exciting thngs to share about this summer!




As we all travel on our journeys, our paths cross, intertwining, run parallel to and veer away from others and our envisioned destinies. Always bear in mind that, however frustrating the weaving and winding may be, we shall always come to rest exactly where we are meant to be. as people enter, depart, and possibly reenter your life, hold on to the fact that some will be permanent and some will be seasonal; never fear to grieve for those you've loved and lost, but remember to not let your grief cloud your head and heart or you may block the entrance of new acquaintances. Honor those who are constant and shower them with appreciation at every opportunity to further strengthen the bond. as plans are altered slightly or changed completely, take heart in the notion of experiencing life in all of its glorious variety. Mistakes are not losses, but rather lessons learned so extract the value and release the pain and discomfort. Embrace the vast differences the universe offers in all aspects and acknowledge the beauty of it all. And always be flexible enough to bend so that you will never break.


Had an amazing talk today with a good friend, he constantly reminds me of the beauty of God's purpose for me, and the uncommon life that awaits me. SOO inspired! :)
this also has really inspired me and tied perfectly with what my heart is feeling:

"I want to be un-common.

Go to your place. Dispatch your abilities, and unfurl my goodness. Most refuse. Few cooperate. We accept the present, but neglect it’s purpose. We accept the gift, thankyou, but ignore the Giver and promote self. Why, some of us have been known to parade up and Down the aisles, shouting, “Hey, look at me! “

Need an explanation for the anarchy in the world? You just read it. When you centre-stage your gifts and I pump my image and no one gives a lick about honoring God, dare we expect anything short of chaos?

God endows us with gifts so we can make him known. Period".

Max Lucado, Cure for the Common Life

"You are free to love without an agenda."

(Kristine took this picture while in Shakespeare& Co- i truly resonate with this sentiment, however i might change 'Paris' for a few other amazing places I've been to- today lets say I'm really missing the Amazon, so the Amazon it is!)- oh what joy! i hope i never stop feeling this way either!



This post is about some random thoughts and events that have happened in the last little while! sooo here goes! :)

Soooo I am back home now!!, I've been back for a couple weeks- pictures not posted, and little to no time, nor energy to blog- BUT i shall get to that soon, and i will also post my Bolivia pictures haha- its been a year ( a really good year at that)


I am thankful! i was reflecting during this past week at church, all the amazing people, things and places that have left an imprint in me this past year. To be honest, its not always easy to rejoice amidst brokenness and heartache. But i am choosing not live in that anymore. I choose to rejoice and as a friend said to me last week "Don't live in November, or you'll lose sight of the joys of April and then May too". and so I'm choosing to let go of November :)- Its good to be alive TODAY, i want to live today!

oh ya, i went to Europe- hahaha! what an amazing trip that was, got to spend an amazing 16 days with the best of friends, Nadia and Kristine. We have been the trio we are for about 4 years now, cant thank them enough for their incredible friendship and encouragement! Nadia and I met in high school and in second year of university she introduced me to Kristine and that day KG had a crazy conversation with us that changed our lives. She told us about her time in Mexico with Global Youth network and the rest is history!



Kristine is probably one of the most inspiring people i know, she IS perseverance and goes after her dreams- she flys! ( so incredibly honoured to have you in my life, you will do great on those law exams!!) Nadia brings the sense of humour and positivity- if at times i didn't go crazy on this trip it was because of her ridiculous jokes about 'when in Rome' haha (love you Nads! you make me smile so much, don't leave me next year too!! :()


Like i had said in my previous post this trip was a little difficult on the heart, i am grateful for the opportunity to travel and discover more of this beautiful world- but amidst my joy to wander, something in my heart was sad about travelling to Europe. At first it was an overwhelming feeling of guilt and apathy (never let that consume you!)- standing in history, in age old churches, castles and parks- God's presence overwhelmed me with compassion for the heart He had given me. One that chases and desires to burn with passion and change. But why? why all this desire to change the world, when i could easily choose to delight in the worldly pleasures i have at my door step?- Not that enjoying all this beauty is wrong, but my heart is ignited by an overwhelming feeling of hurt, brokenness, and poverty-

As i stood in Notre Dame Cathedral, i rejoiced in a different way then i ever had, overwhelmed by God's presence i cried- unable to explain to Nadia what was going on with me, i decided to keep walking around- in front of the statues of two women that had changed my life at age 14, I understood. St Therese of Lisieux and St Joan of Arc- two incredible french warriors. If you have ever been to Notre Dame, you will share in the same awe i was in because of the beauty of this church, but as i stood in such majesty, i looked at St Therese's hands as she stood there holding roses in her hands, i remembered a Word a friend had shared with me while skyping when i was in El Salvador, he said he saw me giving out roses to children on a dirt road, always trading Beauty for Ashes. Here i was in France, easily one of the most beautiful, luxurious places i had ever been to- but my heart was longing for Africa and Latin America- amidst the brokenness, poverty and injustice, i will never cease to choose them. They have chosen and stolen my heart- what a beautiful revelation of His true desire for me.

And so LOVE= FREEDOM!- i want to sail! :)


SO incredibly inspired by this: (WOOOHOO truth!)

"All I want from you is to trust Me with what little you can, and grow in loving people around you with the same love I share with you. It's not your job to change them, or to convince them. You are free to love without an agenda." — William P. Young (The Shack)

My seams have unraveled. I am undone.

'I want to kiss the world beautiful'

I want to kiss the world beautiful
Sometimes it's just more important to love
Than to always have it right
I want to kiss the world beautiful
I have no name for this desire
I believe in light, but don't know what to write
I want to kiss the world beautiful
Dream but never fall asleep
Go up to God and say, do you have plans today?
Might you be walking down my street?
I want to kiss the world beautiful
Lay down this life I think I would
Give up my shoes and some of these views
I don't know why just think I should
I want to kiss the world beautiful
-Martyn Joseph

One year ago today, i embarked on an amazing road trip through the province of Chalatenango in El Salvador, my Abuelita(grandma) Milagro's birth place and the land that saw my father grow up. Making me think about that amazing trip, turns my heart tender, and my eyes watery. So much identity, honour and sacrifice in those lands drenched in history, 12 hours and 6 cities, bumpy, sandy roads- all worth the crazy heat and sunburn.

Last year on my trip to El Salvador, i came into understanding of who my Father had made me to be. He planted in me a desire, a passion to want to "Kiss the world beautiful", to desire change, to be light, to seek justice, to love His people. So embedded in my blood, tethered into my Spirit revolution was birthed in my heart. With all the brokenness and filth, i desire to be in Latin America, it seems that brokenness and filth often find hope in each other, hey?
In my brokenness, God showed me i was made perfectly in His image, even if i am broken. i just needed to fall into that tender union with Him. Folding me a new everyday, because as i stand in my brokenness He calls me to love, like He did.

Today, i leave for Europe,but my gaze is on Jesus the liberator, Jesus the gatherer' of men, Jesus the Saviour (El Salvador)- The one who was, and continues to be the champion of the El Salvadorean people. Celebrating Monsenor Oscar Romero's life yesterday, reminded me that laments have a purpose, laments have a cost, but *'Hope is the seed of Liberation' and as much as i wish my plane would be taking me deep into the Amazon to be with the Tacana people, or the wondrous Andes mountains, or Puerto la Libertad in my beautiful little Nation of El Salvador, I know my Father has a reason for me to go to Europe. As i was told before, "Set the world on fire, Run like you've never run before, You were born to create tipping points for those without passion" I am sailing into the unknown with open arms and heart ready to love, because when there is nothing left to burn you must set yourself on fire.